Abide Beloved

It seems that I find myself in yet another period of transition. Most of you by now know that a week ago I quit my job at Frontier Ranch. There were many reasons and months of build up that lead to my decision to leave the Young Life camping world but the main reason was that I didn't feel like my job allowed me to do what I felt I was made to do, which is listen to those who need someone to hear them. That's my way of saying that I want to deeply invest in those younger than me who are trying to figure out this whole Jesus thing. I thought that type of life could be found in Young Life camping but sometimes what we think we want and what we actually want are different and it takes trial and error to figure that out.

With all that said, I have spent the past week thinking about the future. There are moments throughout the day in which I feel peace about what lies ahead and even excited for the next adventure. There are other moments, however, where I feel great amounts of anxiety and stress because there are so many unknowns. I don't know what I want to do, where I want to live, or how I will be able to financially support myself. Most of the time I feel like I have to have my life figured out already, like at 24 years old I should know who I want to be and what I want to do and be on a track that will get me to those places.

But then I thought about Jesus.

Before Jesus started his three year ministry he took sometime, forty days to be exact, to be in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11).  During those forty days Jesus fasted. This not only meant that he did not eat anything, it also meant that he spent time to be with the Lord. I like to imagine Jesus and God sitting on a rock overlooking a great valley with mountains surrounding them talking about life, their relationship, and how that will impact the future. I believe that God was preparing him for the work and ministry that was to come. Jesus needed that time to be with the Father and hear from him.

Here is the truth: I am only 24 years old. I have no idea what I want or am supposed to do. I am still trying to figure out who I want to be and how to live that out. But I sense that I don't have to have life figured out just yet, or maybe even ever. I sense in my spirit the Lord calling me to simply be with him like Jesus was in the wilderness. I've written about this before but it is the concept of abiding, dwelling, residing. I feel the Lord calling to me saying, "My beloved, abide in me. Rest in me. Allow me to hold you close, to carry you, to speak words of Truth to you that will give you life and set you free. Be with me. Abide my beloved."

If Jesus, who being in the very nature God (Philippians 2:6), needed to be alone with the Lord in the wilderness for forty days before he began his ministry then I certainly need to spend sometime with God so that I can hear from him, allow him to prepare me for what lies ahead, and further build my foundation. And that is what I intend to do. Some call it a walkabout, others call it a soul seeking journey, I tend to call it a variety of different things. But no matter what it is called, the next few weeks or months are going to be about me seeking the Lord, abiding in him, and allowing his goodness and truth to wash over me and renew my spirit.

We all need times of renewal in which we can simply be in the presence of the Lord to allow him to speak softly to us words that will bring us life. I hope to hear those life giving words and to know in my heart that I am loved by the Creator of the universe who not only sent his Son to die for me but also raised him up so that I too may have a life forever with him. E.

(P.S. new pictures from Buena Vista and the first session of camp have been posted to my blog. Visit elizabethreeser.blogspot.com and on the right hand side you will see links to my pictures.)